Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy this day with family and friends. If you have to work like I do then be sure to hit up every friend's house you know that made dinner and you won't have to cook for a week! I'm very thankful for my family and all of my friends. My life is going to change dramatically over the years and I just hope that all my wonderful friends are there to support me.
-Nikki
Have you ever been looking for something only to find out that it was right under your nose all along? What does it take into put one’s life in perspective? Some might say marriage, others children, or the loss of a loved one. What about loosing one of your five senses? I watched my mother, this beautiful vibrant being, go from being full of life to not doing wanting to do anything all day but sit in one spot. She lost her sight in direct relation to becoming diabetic and it going untreated for while. She told herself that doing anything more than staying out of the way would burden other people and was even self convinced that she just could not do everyday things anymore. She laughs at me still when she says, “I can’t” and I say, “Oh, yes you can. You are too young to give up!” I would love for my mother to miraculously regain her sight if just for one moment to see her family one last time all grown up and lay eyes for the first time on her one and only grandson. She has accepted that she can’t see anymore and is thankful for the years that she could. My mom is my hero and still manages to lend me strength. She’s always found a way when seemingly there wasn’t one. She gives me hope when situations become hopeless. Her hugs are priceless and to hear her laugh is music to my ears. I guess where I’m going with this is to say that though my mom isn’t as active as I would like her to be and doesn’t go outside as often as would like her too she is still strong because she perseveres. She can only see her memories. If one day one of your senses goes away wouldn’t you want great memories to recall? Wouldn’t you want to have heard, seen, smelled, tasted, and touched the greatest things and recollect them when you begin to miss them? What does it take to put one’s life into perspective?
I tend to not get into the goings on of the news today because I don’t believe that the right things are being reported and it’s about ratings and appearances. However as of late, there is a subject matter that has been in the spotlight that touches me.
Growing up in small rural town of Alabama, I had not encountered blatant racism until I was a junior in high school. A “so called” friend of mine who was white and happened to be dating a black man to much dismay of her family decided that she and I go hang out at the creek. I was oblivious of the fact that most of her family was racist and the places she hung out probably weren’t the best places for me to hang out. At any rate, we load up her car and we are on our way, into the deep back woods expecting some to have a good time at the creek. As soon as, we turned in to park something didn’t feel right deep down inside and I wanted to leave. Before I could get the words out of my mouth, the words had already been spoken. “I know she is not bringing that “bleep” up into our creek” I tell you that car couldn’t get turned around fast enough. The look of hate in their eyes was horrifying and they didn’t even know me, just a bunch of ignorant folks claiming a piece of God’s property as their own and that their existence was more valuable than my own. I was never a fan of the “N” word before and was definitely not after that moment.
A little over a month ago, in Beloit, Wisconsin, the “N”- word was laid to rest in a symbolic funeral. Do I think this made and impact on us? I would like to hope so, but I’m not so sure. I got a text message just the other day asking me, “What’s up, Bleep”a”, as though spelling it with an “a” made me feel like it was a term of endearment. Well, it’s not because it was derived from a word that was based on hate. It was based on not being able to have an identity. It was basically saying me calling you this says I’m better than you and you will never be anything more than this. Fast forward to this century, we throw this word spelled with an “a” around our community as though is has no meaning at all. Hell, Denzel got an Oscar for it. I ask myself if he went around saying, "my man" as he did in his latest movie portraying a powerful gangster in America nonetheless would he had still won and Oscar. Was “Training Day” really that good of a movie? I beg to differ. Unless you wanted to see a black man portrayed as a good for nothing crooked cop with seemingly no morals or values and didn’t seem to have an extensive enough vocabulary to communicate then okay give the man his props. However, I would have to say shame on Denzel for even putting himself out there in such a negative way. Aside from the multitude of rap lyrics containing the antiquated word in excess we have the latest and greatest news of it use. However it was used in its original format, uncut, by America’s favorite bounty hunter Duane “Dog” Chapman referring to his son’s girlfriend. Is America for real? Why is this news! Because he got caught saying it! If we don’t care enough to stop calling ourselves these derogatory things how can we raise a brow to the race that created it for using it. If someone can explain that to me then by all means comment away! I am not in any way saying what the man did was right, but how the press handled it was just outrageous. I would much rather here news reports about more positive things going on vice all the negative crap this world has to offer. I’m not saying we have to be blind to the negativity we just shouldn’t focus so much of our time and effort on it, broadcasting. As if to say if you do something horrible and degrading you will get your 15 minutes of fame. The war is still going on; are we making sure our Soldiers and their families are being taken care of? Should we not be focusing on our youth? They are and will always be the future of our nation. I know it’s not possible to make parent’s raise their children unbiased and fair and to teach them to treat people with respect and dignity no matter their color or creed. If we can push reality shows down our television watcher’s throat, why can’t we bring back after-school specials? Why can’t we let our youth know they don’t have to believe in the evils their parents do. They can put an end to this madness!
*dismounts soapbox*
Nikki J.
A few good people have told me that when you feel like giving up, that's when you should expect something great. Don't complain; don't give up hope, just hold on and something great will happen in your life. I've been sad, hurt, angry, envious, spiteful, doubtful, and multitude of other emotions but, I held out and found myself again. I thank God for putting the right people in my life to give the words I needed to hear to hold on and not give up on myself or my family. I thank Him for the knowledge of how to let those people go that didn't want me to succeed but rather keep where they were or lower. I have met total strangers that have seemed to read my mind and drop immense words of encouragement. I've grown. I am strong. I know who I am and where I'm going. Who could ask for much more? If we don't believe in ourselves who will? If we don't want more than what our parents had out of life doesn't it seem like atrophy? I know people that blame where they came from for where they are now in life. I am a living testimony to that not being true. It’s all about wanting more out of life. Not settling. Not listening to the naysayers. It’s okay to want success. It’s perfectly alright to want to be and do great things. It’s about not giving up on your dream.
-Be Blessed
Nikki J.